It's an Alfa, Jim. But not as we know it.
Alfa Romeo MiTo Review:
The baby Alfa. Generally disliked amongst the motoring community for its unusual looks and parts-bin construction, but give it a chance and you'll have yourself a decent little run-around.
Let’s start with the engine. The model I "acquired" was fitted with a 1.4 litre, 105bhp 4-cylinder petrol and, providing you keep Alfa's Vehicle Dynamic Control switch gaffer taped in the "D" position, it's a peach. The throttle response is sharp, and it'll happily thrash itself all the way to the 6500rpm redline with all the gusto of an excited dog chasing a postman.
The gearbox is good. It's a 6-speed manual (thankfully), meaning you can wring every single one of those Italian Stallions out of the engine without an electronic nanny spoiling your fun. The throw is short without being stupid, the gate doesn't try to catch you out and the clutch is the correct weight for those who want to drive their car rather than have it drive them. It was a joy to stir through.
The MiTo also handles well; the suspension is pliant rather than painful, the power-steering is not over-assisted, and the brakes bear function throughout the entirety of their travel, avoiding a frightening pedal "dead zone" before their engagement.
My only niggle was the MiTo's lack of quirks. Alfas of old were temperamental sods of cars with all the reliability of a Greek accountant. I like to think that if an Alfa engineer from the 70s and 80s even muttered the word "practicality," he would have the nearest spanner launched at him and his espresso and pizza privileges removed for a week.
This obviously isn't the case now. The MiTo makes sense; it has seats which can fold down, it's easy to get in and out of and all the panels seem to have been bolted on properly. The engine started on the first attempt and not a single electrical accessory broke on my test drive. The model I drove was 5 years old and everything still worked, which makes me a little bit sad.
My dad's got an old 156. It's done over 100,000 miles and has recently undergone life-threatening surgery. The myriad of replacement parts spanned everything from a suspension overhaul to a replacement rear floor. During her somewhat tragic limp to the operating theatre, she graced a ribbon of tarmac perfection. The second her snout rounded the first corner, she was magically fixed. Her squeaks and rattles stopped, the engine found an extra 20bhp and her chassis clung to the road with the desperation of a limpet hit by a tsunami. Her recovery didn't last though; by the time the mechanic's shop came into view, she was terminally ill again.
Her flaws and her character are what makes her great. It's what makes all Alfa Romeos great. The MiTo's not a bad car, but I'm not sure whether it's has managed to keep these human-like qualities of a proper Alfa. Consumers nowadays aren't prepared to endure unreliability; cars are viewed as appliances rather than family members, which I fear may kill off Alfa's soul. Only time will tell.
I really hope they all fall apart in a few years.